University of Wisconsin - Stout

Sexual Assault Myths/Facts

  1. Myth: Men can't be sexually assaulted.
    Fact: In 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male.
  2. Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
    Fact: About 40% of rape victims identify themselves as heterosexual.
  3. Myth: It is only gay men that sexually assault other men.
    Fact: The vast majority of men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual.
  4. Myth: Adult men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
    Fact: Although the majority of perpetrators are male (97-98%) women can and do also sexually assault men. If you include emotional blackmail as a way of giving the victim no choice, then the number greatly increases.
  5. Myth: Male victims don't suffer as bad as female victims; after all they can't become pregnant.
    Fact: All rape victims suffer in many different ways, some responses are gender specific and some are not. Although men cannot become pregnant, anal rape does have a much higher risk of internal tearing and damage, and with that comes a higher risk of possible HIV transmission.
  6. Myth: Getting an erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means "you really wanted it" or you consented.
    Fact: Getting an erection shows nothing other than your body responds the way it is suppose to. It has nothing to do with desire. If you were penetrated, the pressure from the prostate gland would cause an erection. Ejaculation is also very normal and some rapist will go out of their way to make sure you ejaculate, to try and make you feel ashamed, (adds to their dominate feeling of power) and they know it will likely reduce your chances of reporting the crime.
  7. Myth: Male rape only happens in prisons.
    Fact: Male rape happens a lot in prison however, men are raped outside of prison every day in their homes, cars, at work and just about anywhere.

(Taken from Abused, Empowered, Survived, Thrived website)

General Information on Male Rape

Nicholas Groth, a clinical psychologist and author of Men Who Rape: The Psychology of the Offender, says all sexual assault is an act of aggression, regardless of the gender or age of the victim or the assailant. Neither sexual desire nor sexual deprivation is the primary motivating force behind sexual assault. It is not about sexual gratification, but rather a sexual aggressor using somebody else as a means of expressing their own power and control.

Much has been written about the psychological trauma associated with the rape of female victims. While less research has been conducted about male rape victims, case research suggests that males also commonly experience many of the reactions that females experience. These reactions include: depression, anger, guilt, self-blame, sexual dysfunctions, flashbacks, and suicidal feelings (Isley, 1991). Other problems facing males include an increased sense of vulnerability, damaged self-image and emotional distancing (Mezey & King, 1989). Male rape victims not only have to confront unsympathetic attitudes if they choose to press charges, they also often hear unsupportive statements from their friends, family and acquaintances (Brochman, 1991). People will tend to fault the male victim instead of the rapist.

There are many reasons why male victims do not come forward and report being raped, but perhaps the biggest reason for many males is the fear of being perceived as homosexual. However, male sexual assault has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of the attacker or the victim, just as a sexual assault does not make the victim survivor gay, bisexual or heterosexual.

Many people believe that the majority of male rape occurs in prison; however, there is existing research which shatters this myth. Research indicates that the most common sites for male rape involving post-puberty victims are outdoors in remote areas and in automobiles (the latter usually involving hitchhikers).

The form of assault usually involves penetration of the victim anally and/or orally, rather than stimulation of the victim's penis. Gang rape is more common in cases involving male victims than those involving female victims. Also, multiple sexual acts are more likely to be demanded, weapons are more likely to be displayed and used, and physical injury is more likely to occur, with the injuries that do occur being more serious than with injured female rape victims (Porter, 1986).

Victims' Response

It is not uncommon for a male rape victim to blame himself for the rape, believing that he in some way gave permission to the rapist (Brochman, 1991). Male rape victims suffer a similar fear that female rape victims face -- that people will believe the myth that they may have enjoyed being raped. Some men may believe they were not raped or that they gave consent because they became sexually aroused, had an erection, or ejaculated during the sexual assault. These are normal, involuntary physiological reactions. It does not mean that the victim wanted to be raped or sexually assaulted, or that the survivor enjoyed the traumatic experience. Sexual arousal does not necessarily mean there was consent.

According to Groth, some assailants may try to get their victim to ejaculate because for the rapist, it symbolizes their complete sexual control over their victim's body. Since ejaculation is not always within conscious control but rather an involuntary physiological reaction, rapists frequently succeed at getting their male victims to ejaculate. As Groth and Burgess have found in their research, this aspect of the attack is extremely stressful and confusing to the victim. In misidentifying ejaculation with orgasm, the victim may be bewildered by his physiological response during the sexual assault and, therefore, may be discouraged from reporting the assault for fear his sexuality may become suspect (Groth & Burgess, 1980).

Another major concern facing male rape victims is society's belief that men should be able to protect themselves and, therefore, it is somehow their fault that they were raped. The experience of a rape may affect gay and heterosexual men differently. Most rape counselors point out that gay men have difficulties in their sexual and emotional relationships with other men and think that the assault occurred because they are gay, whereas straight men often begin to question their sexual identity and are more disturbed by the sexual aspect of the assault than the violence involved (Brochman, 1991).

If You Are a Victim

Rape and sexual assault include any unwanted sexual acts. Even if you agree to have sex with someone, you have the right to say "no" at any time, and to say "no" to any sexual acts. If you are sexually assaulted or raped, it is never your fault -- you are not responsible for the actions of others.

Richie J. McMullen, author of Male Rape: Breaking the Silence on the Last Taboo, encourages seeking immediate medical attention whether or not the incident is reported to police. Even if you do not seem injured, it is important to get medical attention. Sometimes injuries that seem minor at first can get worse. Survivors can sometimes contract a sexually transmitted disease during the sexual assault, but not suffer immediate symptoms. Even if the symptoms of that disease take weeks or months to appear, it might be easily treated with an early diagnosis.

Medical considerations making immediate medical attention imperative include:

Some of the physical reactions a survivor may experience in response to the trauma of a sexual assault or rape include:

Some of the psychological and emotional reactions a sexual assault survivor may experience include:

(The National Center for Victims of Crimes: www.ncvc.org)

Do's and Don'ts in Dealing with Male Rape Survivors

Dobelieve the man who reports a rape experience. Remember he has overcome great obstacles to be able to speak about what happened.

Do tell him he is not alone, that approximately one in fourteen men is a rape survivor.

Do tell him that the rape was not his fault.

Do listen non-judgmentally. Remember his experience is not any less traumatic because he is a man

But please DO NOT:

Don't express discomfort with issues and conversations related to sexuality. This might be one of the foremost areas of concern and your uneasiness might cause him not to mention it again.

Don't panic if he is suicidal. This is a common aftermath of male rape. He will best be calmed by a conversation where he is able to express what he is feeling. Point out to him that he is alive and has survived the assault. Make him aware of the fact that he is not alone and that there are other male survivors out there. He needs to know that it is possible to recover from the trauma

Don't tell others. Protecting his anonymity or confidentiality is vital.

Don't accuse him of being homophobic. If he indicates hatred or fear of gay males. However at an appropriate time, inform him that most men who rape self identify as heterosexual. Rape is to control, humiliate, degrade the victim; it is not for sexual gratification.

Stalking Statistics

  1. 370,990 men are stalked annually in the United States.
  2. 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime.
  3. 64% of male victims know their stalker.
  4. 87% of stalkers are men.
  5. 10% of male victims obtained a protective order.
  6. 81% of male victims had the protection order violated.
  7. 20% of male stalking victims sought psychological counseling.

Male Victims of Dating/Domestic Violence

Statistics

  1. 834,732 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate. Every 37.8 seconds, somewhere in America a man is battered. (Nov. 2000, National Violence Against Women Survey).
  2. 21.6% of the male victims were threatened with a knife.
  3. 43.2% of the male victims were hit with a hard object capable of causing serious injury.
  4. A survey of 1,000 women, perhaps the largest survey of its kind, found that 20% had initiated violence. The most common reasons for women initiating domestic violence were: "My partner wasn't sensitive to my needs," (46%), "I wished to gain my partner's attention," (44%) and "My partner was not listening to me" (43%).

How Men Cope

Men are less likely to call the police, even when there is injury, because, like women, they feel shame about disclosing family violence. But for many men, the shame is compounded by the shame of not being able to keep their wives under control. Among this group, a "real man" would be able to keep her under control. Moreover, the police tend to share these same traditional gender role expectations. This adds to the legal and regulatory presumption that the offender is a man. As a result, the police are reluctant to arrest women for domestic assault. Women know this. That is, they know they are likely to be able to get away with it. As in the case of other crimes, the probability of a woman assaulting her partner is strongly influenced by what she thinks she can get away with.

Taking on a macho "I can handle it" attitude.

Even if you have been hurt much worse on an athletic playing field, it is not the same thing as being physically attacked by your intimate partner, which hurts emotionally as well as physically. Allowing this pattern to continue can result in depression, substance abuse, loss of confidence, even suicide. (At its worst, it has resulted in death at the hands or a partner or someone induced to kill you by the partner.)

"Men Don't Tell."

Keeping silent, (not confiding to a friend, relative or professional) is a common reaction of both male and female victims of domestic abuse; it's embarrassing. Men typically face a greater degree of disbelief and ridicule than do most women in this situation, which helps enforce the silence. Domestic violence victims make excuses for injuries that show ("It was an accident" or "it happened while playing sports") when friends or medical personnel ask about them.

Hiding From it

Men often escape a bad home life that they are afraid of by spending extra time at work, staying in "their" space (garage, den) at home, or even sleeping in the car or at a friends place.