ple who exhibit symptoms of problem drinking may have a difficult time clearly seeing what's happening to them. The very nature of problem is that drinkers can not see themselves, or their behaviors, as others see them. They may have developed a lifestyle that revolves around drinking. They may also spend much of their time in a mental fog due to the anesthetic effects of the alcohol.
When you decide that you need to do something to let a problem drinker know how you feel, there are methods of approaching the issue that are more helpful than others. An intervention may be in order, but it's best to use a direct but caring approach, one that is less likely to raise the drinker's defenses. A "care-frontation" allows you to deal openly with your feelings about the drinker's behavior, but without blaming or shaming the drinker.
Care-Frontation Planning
- Ask for help in planning the Care-Frontation from an alcohol & other drug abuse prevention professional.
- Gather the drinker's closest friends, relatives and co-workers, and plan the intervention in advance to improve chances of a positive outcome.
- Plan what you will say to the drinker before the intervention.
- Time the intervention so that the drinker will be sober and not in a fog.
- Confront the problem drinker as a group. Encourage each person to share their feelings and concerns.
Care-Frontation Techniques
- Begin by explaining why the intervention is taking place. The welfare of the drinker is the top concern; "you're doing this because you care."
- Several people may relate the "details" of the drinker's behavior and share how they felt about the behavior. Stay with your feelings and use "I" statements during this time. Example - "I felt embarrassed when you came home drunk and my friends were at the house."
- Use only specifics about behavior and be sure to tell, in detail, what happened and when. Talk about how each situation made you feel.
- Don't make judgments about the person's drinking or behavior, stick to what you have experienced or observed, and how that made you feel.
- Don't make a diagnosis of the drinker's problem by labeling them a drunk or alcoholic.
- Use language that's not derogatory or inflammatory, even though you may feel a lot of anger. Stick with the drinker's behaviors and how they affected you.
- Share what you plan to do about this situation in the future and don't make idle threats.
- End by expressing concern and, if appropriate, make a referral for
help.
Reference: UW-Stevens Point Student Reaction Team Training Manual